a day of goodbyes

it started at 4:30 this morning. i think my body knew that i'd be needing to wake up at 5 in order to see the gals (michiko, ayako, kyoko, yumi, and fumiko) off. forget 5-- 4:30 worked for me-- i wanted all the time w/ the gals that i could get. we walked over to liberty together and all of us said goodbye. not an easy task when you've developed a friendship over 9 months and have no idea when you'll see each other next-- ayako and i get the award for being the first to get tears in our eyes. *sigh* i wish they all could have stayed. the cards and gifts were great but really... i'd much rather have them... but this is what happens each year. i'll be saying goodbye to naoko and tomomi this next week at my house. that won't be easy, either. oh well... sometimes things just aren't easy. they make us stronger, though. there's a lot of hope in that.

speaking of goodbyes. today i will be officially packing my car and saying goodbye to bv for the next (almost) 8 months. goodbye to the ra job, goodbye to my own room (who knows where i will really be when i get back? maybe an ra again, maybe not!), goodbye to the most amazing profs in the world, goodbye to internet access 24/7 all over campus w/ this fabulous laptop, goodbye to sharing itty bitty shower stalls, goodbye to this beautiful lake, goodbye to salt & light books and the consignment shop and the goodwill, goodbye to slow iowa highway speed limits (though i hear they're being raised soon?), goodbye to my academic assistant position (that one sure flew by!), and goodbye to a year that caused so much pain and sorrow, yet so much joy and opportunity. i still feel like i wouldn't change a thing that has happened this year (w/ the exception of tony's suicide-- although even that provided a lot of unity and learning opportunity-- but, sure, leave it to me to look at a suicide optimistically). sitting in beth's office and talking with her this past week, i said: "to look at where i was, to look at where i am, and to look at where i will be"-- incredible. i'm saying goodbye to a lot-- but i'm saying hello to that much more.

i had tears in my eyes yesterday at graduation. the weather was perfect for such a celebration, and the fieldhouse was PACKED full w/ family and friends. what an accomplishment, making it through college. especially at such a place as bv, where everyone becomes family. i hope my graduation day it as beautiful as yesterday's, w/ my family there (i'd like mom, dad, andy, scott, and grandma to be there-- since only 5 are allowed to actually sit in the fieldhouse and watch the ceremony), and homemade food brought up by mom (mmmm). only 2 more years. it's going to fly by! two more semesters on campus, two more semesters off-campus. wow! what a goodbye it will be, then...

thank God for goodbyes. the good ones, the bad ones, the bittersweet ones. they form us into who we are. for this i am thankful, for if it weren't for the goodbyes from this year, i likely wouldn't be who i am on this very day.

hasta luego, buena vista university. ten cuidado.