so very thankful

i had a mumbo jumbo load of stuff typed out on here but decided to delete it all. nothing really sounded right... it's like i had something i wanted to say but just couldn't get to it. so i'm just gonna say what's on my mind and then get to bed... it's been a full day (and especially evening/night).

andy: although it may or may not sound odd, your post from tonight brought tears to my eyes. to hear you say that you are proud of me just means the world to me. but all this academic stuff tonight... the awards, the compliments and "congratulations" and so on... i could have done w/o. really. i could have not been given the award, not been announced for the dean's list, yet still have been the happiest sister in the world just to have her big brother there. we don't talk much. in fact, we haven't said more than 10 words to each other tonight (and you're already knocked out on the futon). but you know i love you... and i'm just so thankful to have you here. and i'm proud of you, too... i really am. after this paper of yours is done, you'll be done w/ your undergraduate years. huge accomplishment, i think! i know you've struggled. i have been sad when you have been sad... because seeing you sad or knowing you are sad, in turn, makes me sad. when i looked over and saw you w/ your eyes shut on the futon (as i thought you were watching the game on the TV!), i just wanted to cry... i'm not sure why... but i wanted to just cry and give you the biggest hug in the world and just let you know how much i love you. truly. as much as i wish i could say more, the tears tell me that i've said enough. this is from my heart. thank you, andy, for being here, and for supporting me (even when i've not been a good enough sister to you to deserve your support). i love you.

i hope mom and dad know how much i love them.............

i hope beth knows how ever so thankful i am for her support and encouragement. i won the freshman award last year only thanks to her, and this award this year only thanks to her powerful nomination. i can't believe the type of support i get here at bv. oh.... tonight was the first time that beth got to meet my parents. i think i felt the most happiness that i've felt all year, having both mom AND beth right there w/ me. wow, that just moves me to tears. amazing. i am so thankful for the people God has placed in my life... i definitely don't deserve the kind of support i've received these past couple of years................

time to dry the eyes and head to bed. don't want to wake andy w/ the noise of typing fingers. oh how thankful i am for a wonderful evening and for God's many, many, many blessings.