the marathon of my life

ever feel like the world's running a marathon around you, and there you are, chugging along at a snail's pace? that's the story of my past few weeks.

two weeks were spent basically getting minimal to no sleep at all. stupid, i know: i always advise against it. there'd be a night of no sleep, then a night of 4 hours, then 2, then no sleep, then 5 hours, then a night of 7 (i felt on top of the world the next day... for a little while, at least), then back to none. repeat, or something like it. why, you ask? did i really have that much homework? that's the thing: i didn't! it's my out-of-class responsibilities that i have, that keep me busy all day and evening and leave me back at liberty hall around 8-10pm, then leaving me with time to do homework, socialize/be a good ra, take a breather, take care of personal life stuff, prepare for the next day, and get some sleep. not all of those things happen(ed) after 10pm. sleep definitely got put on the backburner, that's for sure. i did my absolute best to keep up the social life-- sometime simultaneously with the homework-- (i'm the craziest darned multi-tasker you've ever met in your life, let me tell you)-- hey, allow me that: it's taken me until the end of my junior/beginning of my senior year to mark that as a priority; i won't have it quite like this after i graduate. so, there we go. homework... and i mean THOROUGHLY done... i still can't bring myself to half-arse it, no matter how tempting it might sound. assignment: read pages 145-198? i read pages 145-198, no fewer, sometimes more. if/when this doesn't happen (there've been a couple of times-- desperate times), i feel so lost it's not even funny. so, anyway. before i know it i'm seeing 3 and then 4am, looking at my watch, counting the hours i could possibly get sleep before waking up and attempting the day again-- and wishing desperately that i'd have a single afternoon free in order to take a nap. naps are possibilities about once or twice a week on a normal week, and only right before/after dinner. not exactly the best time to nap, that's for sure, but hey, whatever gets me through the night-- right? and, to top it off, i can't pull off "looking good" when i'm tired. friends will tell me i look like crap (those are my good, honest friends). i know it, too, when i look in the mirror and think "hello, zombie." ugh. so anyway.

what's the next logical step after being tired? being sick!

so, would you know it, i finally got sick-- right as my weekend service trip to chicago began. not desperately sick, but a good enough combination sore throat/sneezing/hacking cough/runny nose sort of thing. that's ok, i can handle this... just as long as i start getting sleep... so, i got two good nights of sleep in chicago (can't say the same for most everyone else), and since i've gotten back (3 nights so far), i've gotten full, or almost full (and right now i'd say anything about 6 1/2 hours of sleep is a full night of sleep for a college student... not to say that more isn't necessary...), nights of sleep. people have seen me sneezing and blowing my nose (which is an exciting adventure when it's REALLY runny and i've got this nose ring... oh, adventures... if you want to hear stories, send me a personal message :P) and looked at me with sympathy and asked, "oh, poor leisha, how do you feel?" and i tell them: i feel GREAT! i'll take this sickness any day if it means i can be forced to get sleep at night. i feel ten times better now, sick, than what i have the past two weeks, tired. true story.

so, souljahs team is steppin' right along, and it just so happens that our first performance is next week during the homecoming pep rally. uhhhh no pressure? i'm surprising myself during every single practice, and walking away from each of them pumped FULL of energy. there's been a new routine or series of steps taught to us each day, and each time i see them for the first time i think, WHAT!? is that even POSSIBLE!? but then... i see... yes, it is... and before you know it, the move's stuck in my head and i'm practicing it practically in my sleep. tonight's practice was a bit more challenging b/c of being sick, and i thought for sure i would never get one particular move that was being taught to me (i could get the feet without a problem, but the hands/arms sure didn't want to cooperate... which is an issue with these routines!), but, alas, another surprise. suddenly i got it, and things were great. we're starting formations and groups and the order of things and every time we finish with a routine i think to myself, wow, i'm really a part of this! i love it. but there are struggles beyond the steps. for instance, i know some people are caught up on the color of skin, and it's hard to get them to take a white girl seriously when doing this sort of thing. i still wonder what the world would look like if everyone followed martin luther king's words, and looked at the "content of... character" instead of the "color of... skin." maybe people would be more willing to spent time teaching a white girl like me how to not just feel the beat and rythmn, but move her body to it (and i'm not talking caucasion head-bobbing here), at the same time. i guess i've never told many people that i've always sort of wanted to be an african american. had better blame the parents for that one, though, huh. but anyway.

there's been a ton happening besides all of this: i got to spend 3 hours with the mexican delegation last wednesday morning, which was an incredible spanish-speaking and mexican immersion experience. i made contacts in ayotlan, in jalisco, mexico, with whom i'd definitely find a stay should i head that way someday (i'd sure like to). being back at the middle school is awesome, and i've gotten to help quite a few lower-level spanish students. american heritage lecture series panelist meetings have continues on, and we've been formulating questions for the speaker (madame jehan sadat, former first lady of egypt) through our research, and tomorrow night is the dress rehearsal. since i'm an alternate, i won't be up on the stage, but i have good news: i'm pretty sure one of my questions has made the top 4 or top 5 list, which is safe to say that it will likely be used during the student panel (since we never know if we'll get through 4 questions, or 8, or what... just depends on the speaker). it's a question about formal education for women vs. informal education for women in the Arab states. if it's really used, i'll post it and let you know how the answer went. i'm excited for friday... all afternoon and evening will be spent with madame sadat, which will be an amazing honor, even if i'm not going to be onstage. press conferences, photographs, personal q&a sessions, a dinner, student panel, so forth and so on... oh my! a busy friday, indeed. then, all day saturday and sunday will be spent in formal training for save-- students against a violent environment. it'll be an difficult and emotionally charged time for all those going through the training, i've heard, but i'm pumped for it. i can't wait to be an official advocate for this group, although it's my last year, it doesn't matter-- i've still got time to make a difference.

i fiiiiiiiinally purchased a ticket to guanajuato for fall break. crazy thing to do? quite possibly, but i had a voucher to enable me to go through with it. i'll be catching the last day and a quarter of cervantino, the most significant cultural festival in all of mexico and possibly latin america. just got an email from montse who said she'd love for me to stay at her place in guanajuato (w/in walking distance of everywhere, and she's a college student, too), and she'd even love to retrieve me at the airport if i'd like her to. i've informed other friends, too (diana, patty, danae, lupita, gilberto, and, yes, beto) so i'm hoping that a crazy miracle will happen and i'll not feel tired for the 2 and a half days i'm there and will be able to spend all day and all night with my friends, experiencing guanajuato once more. i miss it there, the smell, the sound of the music, the feel of the uneven streets, the taste of the enchiladas (crap!, this whole vegetarian thing... good thing i love beans and mushrooms...) the sight of the colors, the movement of el baile, the hugs, the smiles, the laughter, the modismos guanajuatenses. everything. i hope to be able to drop literally everything school-related and just go and enjoy myself for the time being. live fully and deeply, right?

with all this said.......
it's homework time.

for those of you who are reading this, with whom i've not been in touch forever: know i love you, and i thank you for your notes of love and encouragement. i am always reluctant to respond to an email when i have little time or energy, b/c i feel you deserve a wonderful response, and i can't deliver quite that at times. it's no excuse for not writing, i though. i'll get there... i promise. keep up the notes, though-- those who've written and those who haven't...