5-hr naptime is over

i don't know why i do this to myself-- why i put off papers until THE very last minute. it frustrates me to no end. my big paper was due on tuesday but the class ended up getting an extension until thursday. now you'd think one would use that time to work on the paper and make it better-- or work on it at all, really, but have i? definitely NOT. so here it is, wednesday morning already, 3am, and i've done nothing at all in the past day on it. i thought i'd nap a little bit once 10pm got here, but that turned into a sort-of night of sleep, and now that it's 3am i feel unable to sleep any longer. too much on the mind-- thinking of him too much (i had a dream about him during this "nap" that was all too true to life)-- thinking also of my students and a conversation i had today with eduardo, a little boy who was sent here from mexico by his parents so that he could get a good education. he's living with his aunt and uncle who basically provide housing for him and nothing else-- the rest is up to him. eduardo is a great, great, great kid. but he's really missing home right now... his mom just had a baby and he still doesn't know whether it's a boy or a girl, and if or when he'll ever get to see his new little sibling. i don't get to see him much anymore because he's in track, but today (or should i say, yesterday) we got to chat during activity time outside and i asked him how things were going. he said he was missing home a lot-- that he wants to return to mexico this summer and never come back (which would likely happen anyway as we're pretty positive he's here "illegally" as maaaaaany of the students probably are). living with his aunt/uncle isn't anything like being at home. this ripped me apart. first, the entire conversation was in spanish-- it's the only language we ever use together, and what i appreciate about him is that he speaks to me as though there were no linguistic difference between us. and i understand him. it's a great feeling, like a connection between he and i; i can understand on a slightly deeper level than if he were to just tell mrs. queen, "i miss my home." anyway, observing eduardo is something i like to do, when i see him. his actions, behaviors, interactions. he's such a bright, talented kid-- he's soaking up this better education that he's getting, but is it worth it when you're in 7th grade and missing the heck out of your family so much that you want to leave and never come back? i wanted to give him such a big hug after talking, to adopt him for my own little brother and make him feel like he's at home-- but at the same time-- i just want to see the little guy happy. i'm not sure if he's going to be here next year or not. one could only hope so, but at the same time... so anyway. that's another thing that's been on my mind. i really think that someday i might have issues with separating my career life with my home life. how could i not think about something like this off the job? how could i not think about this all the time? my heart breaks for eduardo. but anyway. this paper. 15-18 pages total, so i've got about 5 or 6 more to go. i'm finally being challenged-- this is a good thing, just bad on the sleeping schedule. eh. this, too, shall pass.