a merry christmas?

1:15am, christmas morning. got home from the chapel hill service after driving in a complete daze, about 60mph, if that. arrrrgh... so many thoughts on my mind. not sure if i'll be able to sleep but that's how it goes sometimes.

a few "major" thoughts:
1. had an incredible time on wednesday night-- met jason at the plaza and enjoyed our time there. saw "meet the fockers"-- great movie-- lots of laughs. not sure really how to express how i felt about the time w/ him. let's just say that i wouldn't have minded walking around for a few more hours, talking w/ him-- even though it was just about freezing outside (i really didn't care-- just too bad that he's used to the warm weather in the south... lol!). i can't say that the thought of seeing him again hasnt crossed my mind-- which is weird enough in itself considering all that's gone on this semester (life sure is funny, huh). and some other factors. anywho.
2. it's christmas. and i sort of wish it wasn't. i'm not looking forward to having tons of family here. i don't want people to ask how i'm doing and how my semester was and how my boyfriend is (he broke up w/ me, thanks-- no, there wasn't a fight-- why, then?-- hell, why don't you ask HIM?).
3. "the gals" at chapel hill bombarded me after the service, "informing me" that they'd talked to ethan a couple of weeks back, at church. naturally they'd "found out" about he and i and naturally they bombarded me with questions. arrrrgh. if only i had ANY answers to their questions...
4. dropped the christmas basket by the valet house right after that, and might i say that it was the oddest feeling, ever, as i handed it to seth and as jared stood there watching... and e's car was in the driveway...
5. i'm tired. mentally, physically, emotionally..........